Herein The Blogger chronicles the injuries and illnesses through which he and The Lady have persevered. The Blogger and his Lady believe that with travel, as with all else, the absence of pain equals the absence of gain. Over time, this Injury Report may provide the only quantifiable test of what we have gained from our travels.
Summer, 2005 – Arenal, Costa Rica
- The Lady became violently ill and bed ridden for a day.
- The Blogger suffered massive bruising on his feet after the wrong kayak was delivered for his trip down the Pacquari River. Subsequently, he suffered massive sun burns on his feet as he was unprepared for floating in a raft for the majority of the trip.
January, 2006 – Vancouver, British Columbia
- The Blogger had an impressive wipeout while foolishly taking on a black run on Whistler, but bruised pride and a reminder that enthusiasm rarely substitutes for skill were the only injuries.
Summer, 2006 – St. John, U.S. Virgin Islands
- The Lady was stricken with violent sea sickness while sailing to a scuba diving destination. After chumming the water multiple times, she persevered and had a successful dive, even swimming next to some type of ray. Obviously, this was before these violent creatures struck down one of my personal heros.
January, 2007 – Vietnam; Cambodia; Laos
- Saigon, Vietnam; Siem Reap, Cambodia. The Lady became violently ill, but persevered, refusing to let minor travel sickness keep her down.
- Siem Reap and Phnom Penh, Cambodia. The Blogger and The Lady did permanent damage to their lungs due to frequent dusty, smoky, tuk-tuk rides.
- Environs around Luang Phabong, Laos. The Lady suffered cuts and burns on her leg when stricken by a speeding Hmong bicyclist while hiking to a Hmong village. Our Hmong guide quickly staunched the bleeding using the sap of a local plant, which The Blogger followed immediately with liberal applications of Betadine and Neosporin.
October, 2007 – London, England
- The Blogger suffered numerous blistering hangovers as a result of spending 10 days in London with little to do in the evenings other than hang out at the hotel bar. The Blogger persevered, refusing to let this prevent him from closing an acquisition and negotiating a $300 million outsourcing agreement.
February, 2008 – Upper Mishaulli River, Amazon Basin, Ecuador
- The Blogger was bitten by a squirrel monkey named Lucas, leaving him with a 2-inch long, 1/4 inch deep scar on his ankle. The Blogger persevered, thanks to Betadine and Neosporin, and boated three more days of quality whitewater. Upon his return, The Blogger saw a doctor to confirm that the incubation period for rabies had passed, then got a tattoo of the little bastard on top of the scar.
December, 2008 / January, 2009- Mali; Senegal; Georgia
- Siby, Mali. The Blogger stupidly ate the wrong part of a cashew fruit, leaving his lips and tongue numb for a couple of days. He persevered, however, and was none the worse for the wear.
- Dakar, Senegal. The Blogger and The Lady suffered minor digestive issues, but persevered thanks to booze.
- Atlanta, Georgia. After landing in Atlanta, Georgia, but before reaching the gate, The Lady became airsick and for the first time in over 500,000 miles of air travel, The Blogger witnessed someone utilize an airsickness bag while on the ground. Impressive.
- Atlanta, Georgia. Two days after returning The Blogger developed an allergy to Malarone, the most commonly prescribed and effective anti-malarial. This resulted in significant swelling of The Blogger’s soft tissue. He will not elucidate further, but will note that until the steroids and antihistamines took effect, none of his tissue was hard. The Blogger persevered and provided legal counsel that enhanced shareholder value, but would have preferred to imitate Jeff Goldblum’s crying-while-in-the-fetal-position-in-the-shower move in The Fly.
February, 2009- Cozumel, Mexico
- The Blogger injured his head while by banging it against the rollbar of a jeep driven by a friend. The proximate cause of this injury was some combination of (a) standing up in a moving jeep, (b) rocking out to “America, F*ck Yeah” in Mexico, and (c) The Blogger’s friend’s piss poor and erratic driving. Alternatively, the proximate cause of this injury may have been booze.
November, 2009- Sarangkhot, Nepal
- The Blogger gave himself food poisoning high atop a mountain in Nepal, immediately prior to paragliding off of said mountain, and remained bed ridden (with the exception of urgent trips to the porcelain Goddess) for 1.5 days. The Blogger would love to claim that he persevered, but he did not. He lay in bed shivering, teeth chattering, and threw up so many times that his abs were sore for four days afterwards. During this time he did fly from Pokhara to Kathmandu, and utilized three air sickness bags during the 30 minute flight.
March, 2012 – Sacred Valley, Peru
- TBJ suffered his first black eye as a result of freely roaming the dining car of a moving train. The train staff quickly responded by providing your Blogger a stock of cocao leaves to chew and then apply to TBJ’s face as a poultice, apparently combining the anesthetic properties of the foundational ingredient of cocaine with the widely recognized universal healing properties of your Blogger’s saliva. Either this poultice, or the baby ibuprofin we gave him shortly thereafter, proved effective in relieving TBJ’s pain. TBJ asks me to let you know that you should see the other kid.
- Although not itself an injury, your Blogger and the Lady were sufficiently effected by the altitude in Cusco that we opted NOT to drink the free bottle of champagne given to us for our anniversary. Obviously, some notable psychoactive illness was at work.
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